Life Soundtrack

Guns ‘N Roses, “November Rain”: Contrasting scenes introduce this video: a man popping Lexapro or Zoloft drugs and shots of alcohol in attempt to ease his pain, a large gathering for a Guns ‘N Roses show, an elegant wedding scene strung with smiling faces. In addition to these clips, a lone lighthouse stands as a symbol of guidance, but also conveys a sense of loneliness. Grey skies fill the sky above this lighthouse, symbolizing difficulty and anger. As I neared the end of my high school career, these feelings of frustration and anger seemed to cloud my head and being contained in my tiny school became more and more difficult. In a community where everyone seems to be enjoying themselves but oneself, feelings of aloneness abound and being around those others proves to be quite difficult. High school can be quite clique-y: girls in their Chanel and Burberry aren’t likely to accept cotton T-shirt girls who have academics on their mind more than having fun. Standing alone by the lockers, girls strutting by in their Jimmy Choos, a small teenage girl is likely to feel a lack of self-confidence. Loneliness is all too common for those girls who feel they don’t fit in with the crowd; who are all too impatient for change. Guns ‘N Roses’s lyric of “nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain” reminds those struggling that things will change; loneliness doesn’t last forever and there are better things to come. Here, loneliness stands as a seemingly object of barricade; a feeling of despair that seems as though it will never end.

Kenny Chesney, “Who You’d Be Today”: Boys joke with each other as they toss around a basketball in the introduction of the video, but the audience can tell something is not quite right by the look in the boys’ eyes; something seems to be missing from the scene. Clips of individuals suffering from loneliness, from missing someone, flash throughout the video. Candles and flame are also constant, representing an apparent fatal fire but also representing losing someone. Losing a friend may be one of the hardest things a teenager must suffer; my sophomore year of high school proved to test my strength with the loss of my teammate and friend. For a teenager already struggling through high school, losing a friend could only add to feelings of despair and loneliness. Candles representing loss and respect for the lost line the alter at a Catholic funeral, flickering strongly as a priest delivers the Introit and the Mass of Christian Burial. The strength of the candle’s flame suggests that life has not ended, but changed. Those candles burning brightly during the ceremony instill a sense of hope, a sense that through tragedy comes strength, and perhaps strength is what this loved one was intended to bring. The continued flicker from the flame suggests that life does go on, that this loved one’s spirit will never be forgotten and that, as Chesney concludes, they will be seen again someday.

No Doubt, “Running”: “Running” shows clips from Gwen Stephani’s youth, inviting us into the fun she experienced and the persistence she used to “hold on” during these years. At one point, a high school locker room is presented with a teenager modeling an 80’s cheer or dance costume. In the background, others scurry around the locker room, readying themselves for their One Act plays or pre-track meet practice. During my own high school years, many hours were spent and memories made in our shabby locker room. Tacky painted lockers collected inches of dust, a poor paint job spelled out “Bulldogs” across the wall. The locker room served as a gathering point for teammates as they headed out to practice; volleyball girls pulled on their knee-pads and elbow guards while the runners bundled up in their moisture-wicking dry-fits. The locker room provided a place for closest friends to gather, catch up on the gossip of the day, and lend a shoulder for those having a bad day. It stood as a source of motivation: with friends that care by your side, who are ready to continue bonding on a lactate-threshold workout, everything seems to look up. The locker room in the video seems to hold friends goofing around together, simply trying to enjoy themselves – and No Doubt’s lyrics about “running” and “making it” parallel those ideas of friends gathering. Anticipation of gathering with teammates and friends at the end of a hard day is enough to get a struggling teenager through that day with hope.

Sugarland, “Already Gone”: The first scene the audience sees in “Already Gone” is Jennifer Nettles rising above a group of cars, and then a young teenage girl in the driver’s seat of a car. As the lyrics suggest, this teenager is preparing to move on to a new chapter in her life, taking note of her mother’s advice as she leaves. As I prepared for my own departure to experience another stage of life, I too listened to my mother’s saddened voice as she provided words of encouragement and support. In the driver’s seat of my own ’96 Jeep Cherokee, I was ready to take on this new adventure.

That Jeep provided a means of escape from everything I had previously known. Given an open road filled with new opportunities, a shaky, not-always reliable Jeep seemed to offer excitement and anticipation of what was to come. The Jeep held many old memories of puddle-jumping through East City Park and “accidental” trips down the Cowboy trail, but the road ahead promised new memories with new friends. Sugarland sings of being “gone,” which is just what the Jeep accomplished: being gone, transitioning to a new world. Though anywhere life takes one will likely bring struggles and tough decisions, often change is inevitable and actually good. “Jeepy” served as a getaway; a chance to put the past completely in the past, and move ahead – to see, through the windshield, a new world of opportunity.

Keith Urban, “Everybody”: This video offers clips of apparent “loners,” each walking their own paths in attempt to get somewhere, though we do not know where at the beginning of the video. As the individuals begin to come together, however, it becomes clear that these people make up the band, a group of common men. Like these men, feelings of loneliness have been recurrent throughout my youth. Fear of never fitting in with the right “band” clouded my head for many years. In Urban's video, the men each walking alone appear to be experiencing similar feelings of loneliness. Indeed, the opening line of the song reads: “So here you are now, nowhere to turn… just the same old yesterday.” As they come together, though, they are no longer loners but members of a community: a group of men with similar interests who genuinely care about each other. This group represents just that – a truly unique band of friends who no longer feel alone when they come together. As Urban states, everybody does need somebody to lean on, to express emotions to. A band of friends needn’t always stay the same – in fact, it probably should change – but one does need that band for support. Reaching out for this support may be scary, but true friendship is so valuable, so vital to well-being, that reaching out for one’s own “band” is one of life’s greatest decisions.

Natasha Bedingfield: “Unwritten”: Central to “Unwritten” is the theme of books – “your” book, in particular. The video presents an enormous library with books of every kind – we see a “Gazette” and “Un Voyage Au Fond.” Most notable, though, are the books that come to life – books with legs, dancing around, portraying Bedingfield herself. These books represent the idea that no one knows what is ahead in life, and in your own “book” all you can do is seize the moment. My book of life, as I transitioned to college, remained widely unknown – ideas randomly strewn across the page but in no particular order, with no consistency or sequence. The point of the unwritten book, however, is that no one knows which direction life will go. Instead, we must take advantage of the present, and not be discouraged by the unknown. The unwritten book is one’s own life; no one but that person can write it. An unwritten book is a book filled with opportunity and change, unknown experiences that will one day make the author who they are.

Though the unwritten book is slightly intimidating, Bedingfield presents the idea in an exciting, optimistic manner – as authors of each of our own books, we may write them however we choose. A difficult past may play a role in the outcome of the book, but we may do as we choose with the present and future – we can turn the book around, create a happy ending.

Jordin Sparks, “One Step At A Time”: Feet of every size, shoes of every style are shown walking through different scenes of this video – feet “taking steps” in different directions. Old-school converses, Birkenstocks boots, Rocketdogs and sleek black oxfords show the variety in individuals in the video, but each is taking their own steps in life. Faith that what is supposed to happen will – taking one step at a time – has proven to be an important aspect of my life. Everyone faces difficult situations; everyone also experiences moments of complete happiness. Living in the past or future does little for fulfilling the present, and to fulfill the present we must simply take one step at a time. Our feet will lead us where we are to go in life; as individuals we need to have confidence in that. Feet can do whatever we want them to – walk through life, run through life, skip, dance, or drag. It is each individual’s decision to choose which path to take, but we must be confident in our paths. In order to be truly content, we mustn’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Taking one step at a time, one problem at a time, is vital to happiness and living worry-free. As Sparks states, “it will happen when it is supposed to happen” – whatever that may be.

Class Reflection

I feel this English course has absolutely been a learning experience for me; I like to think that my writing has much improved since the beginning of this semester. I’ve learned to observe and analyze scenes and pieces of art, rhetorically analyze writing, speeches and pieces of art, and combine observance with reflection. I certainly feel that I know more about the use of writing jargon – pathos, ethos, logos, among others – and how to employ them directly into my writing. I’ve also discovered, through much discussion and debate, that multi-media IS a form of essay, and we can incorporate these forms of work into writings to enrich them. I now know exactly how to do that, by having to repeatedly include hyperlinks, videos and pictures to my writing. Previously, I had not given much thought to including multi-media into my writing; it had always been standard boring writing. However, it is clear to me now that such inclusions enhance writings and, if done correctly, make a piece more visually pleasing.

My attitude about writing has not changed drastically; I have never hated it but have never felt it was quite what I am best at either. I cannot say a love for writing has been instilled in me, but I do feel I know now how to make my writing better and that makes writing (and being finished) all the more enjoyable.

I’ve realized the importance of brainstorming and gathering ideas and details before beginning my actual writing. Details, it turns out, can make or break a piece of writing – we learning this from the very beginning in our observational/reflective writings, where I had to closely observe minute details at the Sunken Gardens in Lincoln. I will now always use the process of picking out details to make my writing as descriptive as possible, as I know this is very important. The process of brainstorming, listing and taking notes as the first step is very beneficial to me, I am then able to gather my thoughts and organize what I am trying to say. Peer-reviewing with other students has also become an important part of my writing process. Though I’ve done it before, I think making it mandatory that our classmates reviewed our work was very helpful. They know exactly what to look for since they have the same assignments, so are better able to give ideas that will be helpful. I often have people outside the classroom critique papers as well, but have found that when a classmate does it they offer better suggestions simply because they know the material and what I should be focusing on. I have been able to heavily revise my papers because of classmates’ suggestions. In addition to classmates, conferencing with professors or tutors is very valuable to me, because who knows better what they are looking for than themselves? After conferencing, I feel I know exactly what I can do to make my writing fit what the professor is looking for, which may vary from professor to professor.

“Good writing” is a pretty difficult concept to grasp – one person might think a work is great while another looks at the same work and considers it trash. I think we can always strive to make our writing better, and this is what is done through peer reviews, revision, and exercises such as “cubing.” Improving my writing is why these practices have been so valuable to me. In evaluating the writing of others, I am able to look for those same things that I strive to improve in my own writing. I think it is always helpful to get different perspectives on writing, so you can enrich works. Writing is a tool I feel will be important to me not only in the classroom, but in the world throughout my life.

Outdated, Blemished, but Reliable

The scent of freshly brewed coffee has long been a constant in the mornings of my rural home. This inviting aroma fills the house; one would think a coffee bean grinding business were in operation. Instead, the scent stems from a single Bunn coffee maker that sits in the corner of the kitchen.

The coffee maker may look long outdated. No thermal walls surround the carafe. The worn handle has no padding for sensitive fingers, no alarm beeps the minute the brewing has finished. Instead, plastic exterior walls stained with coffee house an equally stained glass carafe. This classic Bunn maker, however, has proved to continue to produce top quality coffee for years.
Every morning, that coffee pot is filled with black, no-nonsense coffee, no matter how many cups my mother has already went through. As a young child, when I wanted “coffee,” my mother would pour a small amount of coffee into a cup and then, upon my request, load it up with milk and sugar. As I aged, the amount of coffee became more and the amount of milk and sugar less.

My mother showed me how to place a coffee filter inside the funnel and what ratios of coffee to water to use; though still the pot always seemed to be full and I needn’t worry about brewing it myself. Upon mornings before school, the coffee pot became a source of motivation and optimism: “At least I can rely on my coffee!”

The coffee maker has suffered cracks to the exterior, multiple coffee and water stains, and damage to the warmer as a result of a hurried exit of the house without double-checking the maker. Still, it is as reliable as the day it made its first cup of coffee, long before I myself was enjoying its product.

A Toboggan's Memories

Upon opening our garage door, heaps of car parts, ancient posters and toys that we couldn’t quite bring to throw away sit untouched. In the corner sits a prized wooden toboggan. The simple wooden design is far from a fancy $350 “Northern Toboggan and Sled” downhill deluxe toboggan of red oak, but it got the job done just the same. During the first substantial snow of the season, our trusty toboggan seemed to beg to be taken out for a ride.

The L.L. Bean toboggan was made of honey colored steambent northern hardwood slats, which had suffered a fair share of scrapes and cracks through the years. A frayed rope lined both signs of the sled, providing torturous rope burns should anyone be brave enough to take a ride without gloves. Once-sturdy crossbars created individual spaces just perfect for young ones to sit and latch their feet around the person in front. The curved front end of the sled was notorious for continuously blasting the bravest of children who sat in front with snow.

Dad long ago attached a thick, long rope to the front of the sled so the toboggan could give a true sledding experience, not just a wimpy downhill ride: a continuous ride behind the pickup. The toboggan pounced around unpredictably as it flew over hidden pasture trails and frozen cow pies, always seeming to find the perfect bumps to send us into squealing fits as we fought with all our strength to stay on. If the toboggan seemed to be having trouble throwing us off, it always knew just what tricks to pull to send us flying into the snow.

As children, my siblings and I never wanted to leave that toboggan. Frozen fingers, bruised bodies and our mother’s worries didn’t phase us. As teenagers and young adults today, the toboggan holds countless memories for my siblings and I. Though we may feel and act that we are too old for such childish play, when the youngest begs to be taken out tobogganing, none can refuse.

Strength Through Generations

The morning of my confirmation in spring of 2004, I opened a small box to find a dull gold necklace inside. I took the necklace out and turned it over in my hand, examining the tiny worn chain that held a small gold cross with an opaque gem in the center. Clearly an ancient piece of jewelry, I knew I had seen it before but could not quite place where. My mom watched as I contemplated this, and then sat to tell me its origins. This tiny treasure had belonged to her grandmother and then was passed down to her mother, on to my mom and finally to me. The necklace was more than just an heirloom, however; it held years of memories, perseverance and, above all, strength.

I have few memories of my great-grandmother. What I do remember is a sweet, frail woman whose home always smelled like a mixture of her late husband’s woodwork creations and my favorite “m & m party cookies.” She passed on her favorite cookie recipes to her daughter, my grandmother, of whom I have a few more memories. Playing “good ball, bad ball,” sharing the best ice cream treats, and watching soap operas that I didn’t comprehend one bit are among the things that stand out to me. At the time, I never would have imagined that this ill woman had suffered from depression issues for most of her life. To me, she was full of happiness and laughter.

My mother possesses many of these characteristics, and the strength that has been a part of her family for so long is the most apparent. Faced with any obstacle, my mother prevails. Upon opening this small piece of jewelry, I knew it meant more than just a pretty accessory. The cross necklace represents the strength of my mother’s side of the family, the strength that I can only hope to one day have.